Okay, it’s time to set the record straight. Is it ever okay to date your friend’s ex? Right off the back, you would think no right? With all the men and women out there and you have to go and try to pick up someone your friend has already dated? But what if he just wasn’t right for your friends, or they dated for like two seconds? Is it fair that you have to miss out on the person just because your friend didn’t want them? Unfortunately, this question isn’t so black and white. There are many situations in where it might totally be okay to date your friend’s ex. How do you know if you’re in one of those situations or if you should just leave the whole thing alone? Girls Online Magazine has got some answers for you. If you’re thinking of dating your friend’s ex, there are four things you should consider.
How Long Were They Together
Time is most certainly a factor you should consider if you’re thinking about dating your friend’s ex. You’ll want to make note of how long your friend and your potential bae dated. There’s no set math equation where you divide the number of years they dated by the number of years they’ve been apart and come up with the right time. You should be aware that the longer they were together the more likely your friend will have a problem with you seeing that person. You especially want to be careful if they were dating for more than a year. If they dated for a year or more, it’s a good indication that you should probably leave their ex alone. That relationship was probably a serious one.
How Serious Were They
The more serious they were, the more off-limits the ex is. If you’re into someone your friend went on a handful of dates with, it’s probably not going to be that big of a deal if you scoop them up. Now if your friend was intimate with that person, that’s where stuff might get a little tricky but still might be okay. A really good sign is if your friend never even mentioned this person to you. They can’t blame you if you didn’t know, right? If you’re unsure it doesn’t hurt to ask. You don’t necessarily need to get permission or anything but you should find out how serious they were. You’re in really dangerous territory if your friend married that person or created a family with them. You better believe if it was that serious, you’re going to get a lot of heat trying to move forward with their ex.
How Did It End
Any bad blood between your friend and your ex will definitely spill over into your relationship. Be sure if you’re going to date a friend’s ex, they aren’t at each other’s throats everytime they see each other. This could potentially put a strain on both your relationship and your friendship. Most breakups aren’t positive, a lot of them tend not to mutual, so use your best judgment. How bad is too bad? If either one hurt or offended the other during the breakup, it’s probably a no go for you. If they simply didn’t work out, or just weren’t right for each other, that’s probably a safe bet. casually bring up their name to your friend and see how they react, that should help you determine whether or not you’re in the clear.
How Close Are You And Your ” Friend”
If you and your bestie like the same type of guy, be sure it’s not the exact same guy. Dating your best friend’s ex is always a recipe for disaster. If your the guy you’re trying to see is your best friend’s ex, the best way to go about it is to be direct with your friend. As soon as you’re thinking about it, bring it up to your friend and see what she says. The closer you are to your friend, the sooner you need to bring it up. Now if you and your “friend” aren’t really besties but you hang out, you don’t really need to disclose things until things between you and their ex get serious. Regardless if they are your best friend, a good friend, or a friend of a friend, the last thing you want to do is blindside someone. Don’t show up somewhere with the ex and you didn’t give anyone a heads up. That’s just rude.
Dating a friend’s ex can be tricky. If you’re trying to decide whether or not it’s worth going for it, be sure to remember those four rules. Done right you can have your friend and bae. Going about it the wrong way, you could lose it all. So I guess it’s okay to date a friend’s ex if you decide it’s worth the risk.